c-o-c-o-n-u-t

i wanna be young again. remember the times when we used to be able to go around asking stupid questions and everybody would just laugh at you calling you a cute kid? i want everything to be normal again, no responsibilities, no worries and no real feelings.

when i was one,
i had fun,
playing under the sun,
when i was one

when i was two
i lost a tooth
in the loo
when i was two

when i was three
i climbed a tree
saw a bee
when i was three

when i was four
i fell on the floor
and started to snore
when i was four

when i was five
i found a hive
towards it i dived
when i was five

when i was six
i was in a fix
to mix or not to mix?
when i was six

when i was seven
i counted to eleven
to give vent
when i was seven

when i was eight
i left it to fate
on that fateful date
when i was eight

when i was nine
i wrote a line
about a find
when i was nine

when i was ten
i made a friend
when loves to mend
when i was ten

when i was eleven
i found a cent
around the bend
when i was eleven

when i was twelve
i told myself
to leave whats left
when i was twelve

when i was thirteen
i wanted to be lean
after he was seen
when i was thirteen

when i was fourteen
i found a bean
wondered what it might mean
when i was fourteen

when i was fifteen
i found a fiend
in the dean
when i was fifteen

sixteen's round the corner
i wished it had come sooner
now im a mourner
for her gone yonder


xoxo
joanna

bloody stupid

i reli hate chan yoke bee laaa. denggggg
need to redo the whole thing again.
to add to my frustration i read ppl's blog
i should stop reading blogs laa.
haihzz

xoxo
joanna

en. lim's latest fascination

fine dining?

why's everybody so fascinated bout edison chen le? even en. lim cant stop talking bout him... hmmmm... i mean like if something like this happened in hollywood they wouldn't persecute him like they're doing now right. i think they're too lifeless la... hmm



anyway, update

photoshoot finish d. sad kenot ponteng class nymore. aihz. whatever la. i got like 11signs out of 14? it was much easier than last year? maybe cause i was one of the first ones to ask for signs. lol. so i got all the easy questions. haha. don't know...



dan wrote a poem for me. but im not gonna post it up cause we both agree that it may hurt some ppls feelings.



tomorrow eip. sad wei. i wanted to take pics but i got stuck doing closing prayer instead. im gonna bring my camera too since i bring it everywhere nowadays



i got stuck in the lift with my dad after yoga last sunday. damn freaky wei cause im a little claustrophobic. somemore my dad was like hopping round the life claiming he was doing so to try and activate the lift. loll. im scared of going for yoga now. dengg



total angpau money iss bout 500 bucks? lol not too bad



listening to carrie underwood's ever ever after now. you know the song for enchanted? lol. yeah that song. haha


don't know what to write d laaa~~

xoxo
joanna

house visiting.

hawoooo. how r u guys?? studyin i bet while im blogging. lol. nyway these are some of the pics from the house visiting last sat. it was so muchh fuun....!!!

guess who??
loll.

ahhah. recognise the shades? lol

cool leh. lol

suet's house. lol.

ooo. look through my bag la. i got evidence d. wakaka

ahhh. ferrero rocher!!. love u dan. =)

JUMP!

lol.. deno what i was lookin at. hmmm

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~!!!

haha. lame.

feedin ze bird. lol.

it was a 5 you know. lol.

gambling. note the ringgit notes. lol.

xoxo

joanna

P.S. kong, know your highways d anot. *winks*

P.P.S tomorrow dutying for ed board. lol

P.P.P.S me stomach's painful so i get to skip tuition. =)

P.P.P.P.S sueann, thanks for the 'love' letter.

"i believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you belive less so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together " ~ marilyn monroe

Footprints on my heart

You don't even hold me like you used to hold me
And that's the way you could've made all the things you told me
Yeah, yeah
I remember when you told me you'd never lie to me
I can't believe I trusted you
I sacrificed my time and my heart
I gave you my all and what you do


You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart


I know the way you were berfore me
And I was crazy to think you'd change
I put up with your attitude
Your selfish ways and your childish games (whoa)
A good heart always ends up broken
But overtime, it'll make me strong
I'ma put the pieces back together
Might take some time, but I just go on


You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart


Love me or leave meI don't mind
My heart can't take this pain
We had something so beautiful
But now it's not the same
So I gotta let this go
Gotta take back the truth
This situation makes no good for me
I can't believe I let it happen like this
I just sat back while you


You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart


Ooh, whoa, ooh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh



love this song weii!! reli very nice.. =)...

xoxo
joanna

left behind in the dust of your feet

i'm left behind in the dust of your feet,
the steps that you take lead you farther and farther away
away from all of this, the pain the hurt the lies and the deceit
but in the end, it leads you away from me too...


haihz. i feel angry again. but i'm so tired of feeling angry and sad. i cannot hold it in la. i don't know how to express it but through my blog. nyways, i'm feeling depressed again. i'm depressed about everything. my life, how i look, my studies, my friends, my accomplishments and sad to say i'm depressed that i'm depressed. it's kinda lame in a way but i what the hell la.
haihz. i don't know why i care so much, i guess i'm jealous? of the way you treat them but not me. people keep telling me don't be so depressed anymore. but i can't help but be ok. maybe i suffer from depression? i don't know. i don't know what to do now.

i want to move on
but the cement blocks i built around us
is holding me in
keeping me from reality
but making me absorb the pain

everybody's moving on while i'm left behind. nyways. even though its not the new year, i gotta make some new resolutions.

1. forget bout him
2. forget bout her
3. gotta be my cheerful self again


i'm hiding behind a mask
a mask of smiles
that forever hides the sorrow
that no one sees or hears
and will never know of
until the mask is taken away
to reveal the true self


xoxo
joanna

P.S. wrote all the poems myself lehh. lol.

flamming

i actually made this new year resolution that i'm not gonna flame anyone this year. but i guess i got to break it now. hm

bloody bitch. always taking advantage of me. giving a stupid excuse bout why we aren't friends anymore. so bloody stupid. i'm not that dumb you know. i've changed since last year. i'll admit that. last year i wouldn't have said anything about this. i would have just kept quiet and let myself swallow down my emotions. but this year i really cannot tahan d. i hate people who take advantage of me. you bloody well did. you were never there when i really needed it. somebody who's in another school can be there for me but you cant. why? i seriously don't know. i hate you. i'm not afraid to admit it. when you see this you'll probably go and bitch bout this to you bitchy friends. they're the ones that really matter right. i was always at your side when you needed me. when u sms-ed i answered as fast as i could. when you called i talked to you as well as i could. but you never did the same for me. how many times did i sms but you never answered. how many times did i call but it went into voice mail. bloody hell la. just cause i'm not as pretty as you guys are or as rich as you guys are, doesn't mean i don't have feelings. you left my side without even so much as a reason why. you just left without a word, and one day i found myself crying in the canteen cause i had to eat on my own. i bloody well cared ok. how dare you just leave without a reason why. i wouldn't feel so angry if you had even given me a reason why. now i can't stand seeing your face that always hide your true feelings for me with a smile. i hate it. and now sadly to say i hate you.

xoxo
joanna
P.S. you probably won't even read my blog cause you never cared.

addicted to bloging

81%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

CNY - johor and singapore.

CNY came and went. now is the fourth day of chinese new year already. i had fun. =). anyway, i'll let the pics do the talking.

bloody hell

i'm having a bloody depressed day today.
~ failed ed board again.
~friends deserting me like mad. i've got so much time to think now. what do you think, my latest theory is that my friends were only friends with me cause they wanted to use me. well, all the signs are pointing there at any rate.
~bloody family pressuring me to join this join that. they're like " you need a uniforn body, bla bla bla" not like its my bloody fault right. everybody keeps failing me. i really feel so useless now.
~i've lost all my confidence. get it. so i get bulldozed over easily.

P.S. i don't care if i offend anybody in this post k. it's your bloody fault anyway, bitch.
P.P.S i'm having suicidal thoughts. you may find me dead one day. =)

xoxo
joanna