i hate them!!!!

I HATE THEM!!!!!... they don't understand me at all!!!!... !!!!!!!!!!..... this post might have a lot of !!!!!... haih... first my b'day... next this... come on larh... i'd rather get adopted by another family or something!!... james gets all the good things... he hasn't finished his hw... but he doesn't get as much scolding as i do!!... everytime i don't finish my hw... i get all the scolding... im the goody two shoes in the familt is it!!... he gets to watch a movie that i have wanted to watch for a long time with his friends!!... i can't even go out with my friends when i want to!!... and i have wanted to watch the movie for so long... but noooo.... who gets to watch it!!... i have to download it... !!!!!... i have to be stuck at homw doing my stupid hw while my friend gets to go out and have a good time... !!!... i hate my life... why do i have this life...!!!... and everytime i am stuck to do the work... and in the end nobody appreciates my efforts!!... absolutely nobody!!! i am sick of this... i do not want to help anymore... you want me to help... go find aomebody else!!... get it?!?!... and ur stressed... so?!?!... you took on the job of parenting me right... you should have expected it...!!!!!... so im moody... thats cause i don't get appreciated and im not allowed to go out with my friends!!!... whose fault is that... i show my temper then only you will notice me... and i canhear you muttering behind my back... ya la ya la... im uselesss larh... u got a useless daughter larh!!!!!!!!!....ARGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

sad and mistaken
- joanna -

my head is bursting!!

haih!!... y do i have so many problems... i guess it is much less than other ppl... but i still find it hard to handle... i have a migrain now... and a soarthroat... first, can they be more obvious?!?! i mean, they come on9 at the same time, have the same status most of the time, and when 1 goes off, the other 1 goes off as well, haih... come on larh... maybe i should just make a new account and not include them both... and i will be much happier and he oso will... since a little bird told me they were discussin the fatc that i like him with his frens oevr lunch... gawd!!!!... i am keeping all my secrets to myself from now on... me and my dear diary!... i just don't trust anybody anymore... how can i... when all of this has happened?!?!?... second thing is... i do not know what to write for oral!!!... i just don't know what to write!!... the first script i wrote... not good enough... noe i am working on the secong script, and i think it suckz... haih!!... wakaka... im startin to sound like an old granny!... third thing is... i really want to go to mid valley... but then i don't have any transport lerh... neither does yin san... so i am gonna miss out again... i am really getting irritated by it... at the same time... i just feel really left out... but what to do... NTH!!... lastly, my homework is really behind!!... and next thursday the parents are going to come... i don;t know what is going to happen... hmmm... one thing is for sure... i am gonna get yelled at... really lerh... my zhong kai hasn't been done for weeks.... my zhou ji jian bao as well... and my sejarah... wow...i don't even want to talk about it... lucky can borrow boey's book... hehe... oh yeah... i am also totally broke and unable to sms or go to the PCD concert!!!... life sux!

bluek!!!...
- anna banana -
- joanna -

so unfair!!

it is so damn unfair lerh!!!!... i got two invites to go to gym with my friends... but my parents won't let... it is so damn unfair!!!!!!!!... its not like they are around anymore... so why can't i go!!!!... arghhhh!!!!! haih... i don't care what my parents say next week... im goin... wakaka... at least i had some fun at the family day in SFX today... hehe... fr.simon belanja me RM 10 to dunk alex in the dunkin machine... haha... didn't kena la... so horrible... but i didn't care... i went ahead and push the thing lerh... the guys oso said to do that... so i do that larh... =p... but i got wet as well... haih!!... wakaka... u know what i won at the lucky draw?... i won a cook book... wakaka... i wanted the ipod nano larh... haih... somemore the 3G hp would also have been amazing... but i guess luck just was not on my side... wakaka... the performances were quite good lerh... the hip hop dancin damn nice lerh... oh yeah... i also got RM 100 for b'day money... wakaka... i wanna buy the 'walk to remember' book with it... see first larh...

peace out
- anna banana -

wow...

... today... all i can say about it was... it was a really really really wet day... =p... i kena water by i think five ppl le!!!!... now i feel as if im sick... got headache and sorethroat le... haih... i feel so selfish le... i mean james went into the hospital... and today is supposed to be my day right... but none of my family is around... everybody is at the hospital... i didn't even get a slice of cake... i feel so selfish... but i just can't help feeling like that le... haihz... then none of my uncles and aunty even wished me... i don't think i have ever had a worse b'day le... but i just feel so bad and selfish when i type this... haih... so i ate some toblerone... but it hardly improved my mood... somemore with the fact that i feel half sick... from all the cold water poured down my back... hahaz... i hope i can get my revenge though... hahaz... =p...

over and out...
-joanna-
-anna banana-

i'm over himmm

jia xin... me... pei ying... frens foreva!!!!!

yes!!!!! i am finally and officially over him...i know it sounds weird and all...but thats just how it is with me...=p...but haih...when i look across the table and see her face... i can't help but feel a bit jealous... and i think im starting to hate her... but i am trying to control my feelings and do the best that i can... but it is proving hard... now i know the real meaning of jealousy... haihzzz.... but i have some good news... im goin to genting!!!... with my frens somemore...i really hoped that san and ann could go... but i cant change the facts i guess... haihzz... it would be much more fun with them there... but i get to go with all my other friends... so i can thank the stars for my good luck... and hope that their parents will change their minds... and let them come with us and have a good time... haha... im repeating what im saying...=p... the other day i brought my camera to school oo... haha... so scared there was going to be a spot check le... but in the end... there wasn't one... so i'm really happy and glad about that... haih... don't know what else to write lo...

count down to monday : 2 more days

-anna banana-

haihz....

haihz... extremely depressed le... don know what to do...sleep also cannot sleep... eat also no appetite... like living in a ghost world... just doing my normal routine and doing whatever everybodywants me to do... but living in my own thoughts the rest of the time... like sleep walking...
first thing im depressed about is... brazil lost!!!... i can't believe it... they should have won... its like so impossible like that ...but somehow it happened... how?!?!?!?!?!
second thing im depressed about is...welll you know la... haih... its so hard to forget him... when i see him practically everyday... its just so hard... and im pretty sure of the coupling part... that he couple with somebody else... its just so hard to bear... but i should be happie that he has found somebody he can be happy with... but i just cant help feeling jealous...i mean who wouldn be... its just so frustrating during this period of time... i also do not know whether he likes me... he gave me some signs in the past... but i just don't now already... i wanna scream... but how can i... now i understand how depressed people feel....

dreaming of you,
thinking of you,
wondering if you actually
do the same to me too?

peace out...
anna banana

torn between hw and sms-ing

long time no come le... haih... teachers giving so much hw...wan us to die meh... but like...i realise lately that i have been sms-ing a lot...a whole lot more than i used to...haha.... not sure why though... most of what i sms is crap...but really expensive crap...hehe...if i keep sms-ing so much...im gonna be so so so broke... since i don't get pocket money on a daily basis... and i only get RM10 a week... RM10 can only last me about 4 to 5 days if i keep sms-ing so much...how?!
i realise that i don't have problems as bad as some of my friends... i mean... their problems are like really really bad problems...but i just don't know what to do... i mean i am their by their side if they need me... but i just don not know what kind of advice to give... i don't know whether that makes me a bad friend... i just hope that they know that i will always support them... well almost always...=p... hmmm... better get back to hw...later...

arghhh

im back...exam almost over...but at least there is a two week break la...

arghhh...
i didn't zhat you la...whatever u wanna call it...
im not the guilty party here...and anyway...since when u treated me very well...
wan then say the f word...i busy also go disturb me...
people hate me their problem la...i don care...hate la...i already know a lot of people hate me lo...they don need to hide their feelings...just come right out and tell me...won't the world be nicer like that...
you wan't also go and tell your whole class about my problems...I DON'T CARE!...
and anyway...what 'them' buisness...as far as i know...i haven't done anything wrong...if i have done anything wrong...just come out and tell me la...you go around and tell all your friends and whatever behind my back also no use...
just do whatever you want la.....
I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!IF YOU WANNA SAY WHATS WRONG WITH ME...NEXT TIME JUST TELL ME FACE TO FACE...CAUSE YOU ARE THE 1 WHO WANT'S ME TO READ YOUR BLOG...AND IM PRETTY GOOD AT GUESSIN...SO NEXT TIME JUST USE MY REAL NAME...!!!!!!!!!

poem...

i hear your voice,
i see your face,
i pass by you,
but you don even say hi.

i think about you,
day and night,
i message you,
to find you going out with somebody else.

i try to know you,
i try to care,
but i find it so hard,
when you are not even there.

i know your likes and hates,
i know what you do,
i know that you like somebody else,
but i hope still.

that one day you will realise,
that there is somebody else,
concern about you,
caring for you,
listening to your troubles,
and hoping and rooting for you.

the girl/boy in the other picture,
the anonymous person,
the other person,
the onlooker of whatever you do.

this is for all the believers out there...
who just like somebody until they feel like bursting...
but yet goes unnoticed...
by the person who they think is special...
and for those who are in love...
i wish you the best of luck...
cause love is a rocky road...
its not about just using that person...
or going out with them for fun...
or 'playing' them...
its about giving and sharing...
about hoping and supporting...
forever and always...
and never ever end...

joanna

sien arh...

haih...
today so sien le...especially those around me who made me feel sien...the guilty party know who they are...and then i accidently bang into the kennel roof top...damn painful la!! my head feels like it is spinning now...i can't think properly...nor do my maths now when i chouls be doing it...somemore ah...i trust my friends by telling them who i like...not asking them to tell the whole world...i can't believe that who i like can go sround so many people so fast le...maybe today is INTERNATIONAL DAY OF TELLING EVERYBODY WHO JOANNA LIKES...maybe it is...ut i was just not informed...somemore close friends can do that to me...i feel so stressed now le...oh yeah...i got a dog...her name is trixie!!
joanna